Lying on my bed as I wait to be able to breathe peacefully. This thought pops up in my head. What if? What if I never breathe again? Would life as I know it stop to exist? Would I be remembered for joy or sadness that I brought to my friends and family?
The breathing seems to calm me down. I can feel every breath. It’s not as painful as it was yesterday. One more and one more breath. Just one more. Trying to get out of my head. It’s stuffy in there. I turn to my side and there it is. The reminder that life is worth living.
Another person breathing. His breathing is deep and his sleep peaceful. I’m amazed at this giant of a man with a heart so tender it makes my heart ache. Not with sadness but with love for him. As I watch his peace I realise that my life is not in pieces. The pieces of my life are held together by the love of this my beloved of almost 27 years!
How grateful I am to be able to listen to him breathing, and hearing my breath matching his. This is life. True living is found in hearts beating and lungs giving off breath. So much to be grateful for. We have not lost. Our love and our life is still here. It is a time to live and not to die.