I am tired…… yes I said it. Tired of waiting. Waiting for it to be different. It’s been years now. This waiting is making me want to stop what I’m doing and just take a shortcut in life. A detour that will take me to a tropical island where I’ll be watching sunrises and sunsets and where everything I need will be served to me on a silver platter. And I wouldn’t even need to tip the server. Just BE.
There are gaps in time. Yet I didn’t seem to recognise them for what they were. Until now. Why these gaps? Why now? I’m so tired of the non consistency of health, wealth and stealth. Very VERY proper English words to basically say that I not enough money to go to a tropical island. I don’t have the wellness or physical health for it. I don’t have the energy or space in my day for it. Yet this longing is real. There seems to be a gap in time.
I remember starting this year with some amount of energy. And then it stopped. A gap of 7 months to date. 7 months of financial worry, physical health, mental wellness, and numbness of body and mind. Before this gap gets any worse I MUST take care of one part of me.
So I decided to at least write about it. At least start. In case my memory fills with gaps. I know! But would YOU have said it? So let me be. There are gaps and they need filling up.