“‘I saw the Lord always before me, for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken’” (Acts 2:25).

It’s been a while and SO much has happened! 2nd January Covid positive. Mood negative. Time…it has gone.

While going through the waves and torrents of covid including mental, physical and even Spiritual battle, I felt on the 19th of the 21 days in bed the words of Jesus being whispered in my ears to say to me: Daughter, I pour my light into you. I guide you and do not leave you. I have good plans for your life. I love when you step toward Me to realize them.

I was in NO way able to step anywhere. In my min and heart and not in my physical body. It took me 5 minutes (FIVE PRECIOUS MINUTES) to get UP and go to the bathroom.

But ONE day I stepped OUT of my room and walked. Into the safest place for me that moment. 3 adults. All loving me. All believing that I will be better.

Whenever it feels as if TIME has not found me I begin to search for it in my memory. The memories of physical fatigue and pain can be ruthless when the mind is filled with mental PAUSE OF TIME. The anguish, anxiety of yesterday’s memory can be fatal to the body if I allow it to settle in. Often the exercise of GETTING UP allows me (Yes ME) the person inside of me to escape that.

Finding the person or people who are FOR you, beside you, behind you will allow you to see them and their own longings for time with you.

Time…….I will no longer spend it feebly. I will use it to CHANGE ME. So that others see me and the possibility of TIME…

Why should I?

Listening to the rain falling outside my window and seeing the drops on my window pane I realize with certainty again that something controls this feature. There’s no doubt that these drops are not just arriving

Whether on a cold or a muggy day like today, the same drops are falling. Yet the question remains. How on this earth does this happen? Raindrops falling? Have you ever wondered? Wondered how this happens?

Let me introduce you to this FACT. No science, no man. Just GOD. The creator of the universe has designed every piece of evidence that RAIN is needed. Yet, rain can be damaging. Look at KZN in SA, Hurricanes, Tsunami, Storms, and damaging weather. Does this God control it? Why, when sometimes it takes lives, destroys homes and landscape.

Who called it RAIN? Did He? Did God? Well in Genesis in the Bible it clearly says he designed it.

“Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, Lord our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭14:22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What is Sacred is what is with me.

My heart was pounding with anxiety with the dread of not knowing what was going to happen next. I’m just trying to fix it. I’m just trying to make it work. In a flash I realise that I had failed. Nothing was fixed. It was not working. I step back. I close my eyes and focus inside my heart and head. Light seemed to come from somewhere. Deep within.

The word I was hearing was: NO. No? Why No? Surely if I just kept on it would work? But loud and clear was that word again. NO! It was screaming inside of me. Pushing me away from what I was trying SO hard fix.

But what if it breaks? What if it breaks so badly that it is not useable ever again? The voice inside my head adds onto that scream inside of me and calmly says: move away. Don’t touch it. It is no longer yours to fix. Let go. I AM the fixer. But now I have to leave it broken in order that it would WANT to be fixed.

I cannot force it. Relationships have to be bi-directional. This relationship has to WANT to be fixed. So walk away, I must. Until it is ready to be fixed. As I turn around I see what is sacred in my life. The reflection of ME in the mirror on the wall and the sound of laughter coming from the other room. The sounds of joy coming from a deep voice of a 54 years old, a 22 year old and a sweet 16 year old.

These are the days of my life. THIS is what is sacred. Only this. I close the door behind me and join these 3 voices in the other room. GcM

Your Father

A.W. Tozer said “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Pain and disappointment have a way of distorting in our minds what is true about Heavenly Father. When life gets hard, the temptation is to believe that God is uninterested and uninvolved. Yet, He is near and He cares. Regardless of what your current or past circumstances try to tell you, take a moment to meditate on this portrait of your Heavenly Father.

Your Father is perfectly faithful.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Your Father is a generous provider.

Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!

Your Father is loving and compassionate.

John 17:23 (Jesus speaking to His Father) “You have loved them even as you have loved me.”

Psalm 103:13 As a father has compassion on His children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.

Your Father is forgiving and accepting.

Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Your Father is a patient teacher.

Isaiah 30:20-21 Your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left. (NASB)

Your Father is an understanding counselor.

Isaiah 9:6 He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Your Father is a wise communicator.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 3:17 The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Your Father gives good gifts.

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Your Father is attentive to your needs.

Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Your Father is strong yet personal.

Isaiah 40:26 He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing

Matthew 10:30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

And so much more. He is more wonderful than our mind can comprehend. He is there, even if we feel that He has left or that He ought to leave, and even when we turn our backs on Him. Our Father is love, pure love, and He does not change.

By Sylvia and Elizabeth Gunter
Used by permission. From: “Safe In The Father’s Heart”


What is my happiness dependant on? How is it valuable or measured? Is what I have for happiness ENOUGH?

I am sitting in my favourite “hiding” spot watching the ocean. I jump with excitement as I see seals and dolphins playing in the water. Are they supposed to play together? It seems to me that they are happy. Yet I soon realise that where they are there could be sharks too! Strange….

Strange how we just cannot all play together in happiness without being on our guard for “sharks” Life always seems to alert us to some danger just in case we get TOO HAPPY.

At one of the other tables a very well dressed woman around my age is also sitting gazing out at the water. She doesn’t seem to be seeing what I’m seeing. That nature is showing and whoever her god is, but My Almighty God is showing me that happiness CAN be found. Sitting there clutching matching Louis Vuitton purse, handbag and even cellphone cover, I see that she’s just staring. Not looking. Not seeing happiness. She’s either sad or lonely.

This makes ME sad. Is happiness what we have in material things? Is happiness what we perceive? Is happiness what we experience? Would we know what happiness is when it happens?

The area that I’m sitting at sipping my drink had many different aspects of a place one could easily get lost in or swallowed up in the loud laughter & chatter of other patrons as well as the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks.

Yet happiness is evident. In all that. It is there. It can be found. It depends on how and where I look and what I clutch onto. Happiness can be shared. Whether you have more fins than I have or your mouth is shaped differently than mine. or even if your squeal of happiness outshines mine. We can still share happiness.

Letting Go

Hi there everyone. So good to join you today! It’s been a while since we’ve chatted. So much has happened in the past 18 months. There have been good and bad things happening. Unfortunately the bad things happening are trying to overshadow the good things that are happening. Yes it’s a time of Good and Bad. During this time of pandemic, war, death, anger and chaos I am seeing that God is still working.

Right now so many are hurting, dying and so many are discouraged. If we are honest we can say that we’ve all experienced some form of hurt in our lives. When you are deeply hurt by people you least expect, or when you are faced with enormous challenges.

Of course, there is no better way to display your emotions than being angry.But you need to stay calm.Why?Because extreme anger may lead to sin. The prophet Isaiah says in Isaiah 43:18 I’m reading from the NLT translation. 

“But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:18-19‬ ‭NLT‬‬The NIV translation describes it as “Forget The Former Things”

Today I would like to chat to us about “Letting Go”
Just imagine all we did was live in the past? That there was no present and no future. Would you and I learn from the past or would we be stuck in the present that constantly reminds us of the past. The past can never be cancelled or omitted from our lives. But the past can almost be erased! In order for us to “move on” we have to leave the past behind us. But I also believe that looking back to see how far we’ve come is powerful.

We are in the process of moving house right now after 20 years of living in this current house. 20 years of gathering memories! 20 years of memories that hurt when it hurt and 29 years of joy when it was a time if joy. What memories I am experiencing at the moment! Yet, the biggest lesson I am learning right now is “Letting go”

I recently had all my old VHS and video tapes converted to digital Harddrive. I have been enjoying watching “old” footage of when the children were SO SMALL, Clive and my wedding day, and ministry footage of when we first started pioneering the church we are at 21 years ago! Memories. 

I suppose you’ll say that the past is the past. Like Isaiah says that God is doing a new thing. After watching some old footage now digitised I discovered HOW MUCH of our “old” memories have been the foundation for our current circumstances. 

From this I detect that Gods NEW THING is often derived by where we were in the past. Take my life for instance. Growing up in a poor part of Cape Town, where drunkenness, unemployment and so many bad things were happening. There were gangs, insecurity, crime lawlessness. Yet in all of that God was going to use it. I am privileged now to do ministry in a very similar area in Cape Town. Could God use my memories and my past? Yes he can. And He gets the praise for it! 

I am SO grateful that God did not let me go. Nor did I let go of God. 

“Letting go” can be extremely challenging. In moving it’s a matter of asking whether you’ll need the item in the new house or giving it away to somebody. Our “OLD” is somebody else’s “New”Letting go of hurt and anger, disappointment and resentment brings us to a new place. Memories that are hurtful can be causing you and I to remain stuck in our own feelings of despair. Forgiveness brings Freedom. It’s easy to say “we move on” when we are still lugging the memories around with us. In the past 3 months I’ve had to learn to throw away in the rubbish those physical things in my memory that still hurt. 

I have learnt so many lessons from the way my heart has been dealing with packing up. Letting go……and maybe in the process I am “letting God”. 

The words of Jesus in the book of Matthew tells us:“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I want to encourage you today to stand in front of your life and search for the things that still hurt your heart. Let God remove the hurt. Every box I’m packing right now I am making sure that I am not taking “old” with me. Not old in value. But “old” for the forgiven, restored and new me. God wants to constantly wash and clean us. He is truly preparing His Bride for His 2nd coming. Are you allowing Him to change you? I encourage you today to look for Him and I can guarantee that when you seek Him with your whole heart you will find the person YOU changed in His presence.

Let’s pray together. Lord, I realise how much of me is still needing to be healed by You. I give you my heart Lord. Cleanse my heart from unnecessary and old hurt. Give me a new heart of hope and trust. Thank You for taking my hurt and my sin. Help me to forgive those who have hurt me. Set me free to worship You fully. I surrender. Amen
Thank you for joining me today. Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE to my channel below. Until we see each other next time. God be with you.


I do NOT enjoy CHANGE. I do not always cope with it. Good change, bad change and CHANGE that is created by disappointment is probably the worst kind of change. Just like the weather some change cannot be controlled.

I write this while I’m experiencing CHANGE. This is a different kind of CHANGE. This is the CHANGE I needed to do a long time ago.

As we started 2021 I was hoping that the global pandemic would have left. Nothing was changing. There is no change in our social restrictions. Yet, something was changing inside of me. I was experiencing a different kind of change. A laying down of what I am used to doing. A laying down of what I am good at doing. I have the experience. I have the talent. I have always been the one doing it.

The change that is beckoning me is a scary one. Stepping away. Letting somebody else do it. Knowing that I won’t disappear. I’ll just be stepping into the shadows a bit more so that I can reflect off Gods light.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” -Helen Keller

Moving my focus and facing the new position I find myself in is a metamorphosis of the person in me. Yet my roots still dig deep, allowing me to be steadfast even with CHANGE

How did I get here? Through active CHANGE. Every moment was a CHANGE. Every choice I have made brought CHANGE. I will not dawdle over what could have been, what was, without accepting the fact that ONE very important thing happened. CHANGE